Music + Intuitive Movement = Grief Medicine {Grief•Flow}
If I don’t make space for my grief to flow, the greater flow of my mental and physical energy stagnates, as does my connection to the Divine and to creativity.
If grief doesn’t have space to flow, I feel muted and closed off to intimacy with my loved ones, without words to express and share my heart.
If I haven’t made space for grief to flow, my body and energy feel flat and my eyes tired.
Finding the ways and spaces where I feel free to really sink into grief, sometimes for 5 minutes, other times for as long as needed, has been a work in progress. I find it is so much easier to connect to it and offer it space when I don’t feel alone, when I am held in love by someone else, or by music.
The idea of a GriefFlow ceremony was born in Fall of 2021. As the shock of saying goodbye to my mom began to wear off slowly, 6 months later, the heaviness in my body felt stifling and unrelenting.
I was extra sensitive to stimulation and realized that music without lyrics met me in my broken-open heart with softness, in ways nothing else could. One afternoon while sitting out in the autumn sun, my Spotify ‘Discover Weekly’ playlist introduced a piece that instantly captivated me.
Within a few moments of listening I could hear the grief alive in the song - I could feel the yearning, missing, dreaming, remembering, and the connection to all that was, is and will or won’t be.
I went on a Google deep dive to find the story that went with it, and quickly learned that the artist had written it shortly after his mom passed away from cancer. I was stunned and in awe of how my body and heart could feel the source of the creation.
I played the song over and over again, and as I listened, my body wanted to move with the music. It felt so good to be held by the dancing melodies, which seemed to represent the many faces of grief, loss, hope, love, and peace.
Tears would flow in some moments, and in others my lips would form the biggest smile. I would often start the song seated, and at some point something inside of me would lead me up and into movement. Then a few minutes later, it would call me back to the floor to simply lay there and receive the medicine of the music.
The medicine of knowing I was not alone in this pain.
During the 8 minute song, I would go from feeling dull and disconnected, to feeling my body and heart fluid and alive again. Like I could breathe deeply and see life again, within and without.
Sometimes I would feel called to clean afterwards, or fold my clothes (things that were hard for me to find energy for at the time). Other times I would feel hunger rumble for the first time in days and be inspired to cook something new and fresh, or I would move to my easel and paint.
Sometimes I would just lie there and rest.
Sometimes messages would arrive, other times I would receive the nourishment of the silence.
Each tiny little ceremony the music helped me hold liberated a little bit of energy that had been suppressed, without forcing, expectation or agenda. No need to be any way or place that I wasn’t. I could let all my emotions arise and move.
As I found myself in this GriefFlow over and over again, I began to dream of a space where we could honor grief like this in community. Where lyrics and words wouldn’t be necessary, because let’s be real - grief often extends beyond what words can reach.
And here we are.
During the next GriefFlow Workshop, we will begin with a short introduction and reflection, and then I will guide you into an opening meditation that allows you to feel into any ways or places grief might be alive for you right now.
As we soften into our inner landscapes, I will press play on a curated playlist (all songs without lyrics), and then will guide you as you listen to your body, to how the music meets you and moves you. Most people will want their cameras off during this part, to feel free to be in their space as they wish.
As the music concludes (about 25 mins in total), we will transition into a time to circle and share anything that arose. There will also be space to ask questions or for guidance from me.
While I can't predict what will arise and move within you during this workshop, I can tell you that people are often surprised by how light, refreshed, grounded yet energized they feel at the end.
The grief that moves and transmutes in these workshops may be everything from the loss of a loved one, or a relationship, to the loss of a home or homeland, a season of life, job, a dream, of health, or the grief of living in an imperfect world as imperfect humans.
I believe we all harbor grief in one or more ways.
This workshop is for everyone that is willing to open to it, even if you don’t consciously know the where, why, and how.
I invite you into the mystery and all that awaits, with deep trust it will be nourishing to your soul and beyond.