Honoring Grief in the grey
I love to honor the grief in the grey.
Earlier this week, I did an instagram live (which I also edited and shared on the podcast yesterday – you can listen here) where I talked about the many shades of Mother's Day grief, and how so often, unless you are clearly mourning the loss of your mother or child, the complexity of your experience can feel like it doesn't quite fit.
As someone that is going on four Mother's Days without my mom, and am not yet a mom myself, it's fascinating to see this holiday through the ‘motherless’ now.
To be clear, I think the heart of the day is absolutely beautiful.
And it's strange to see my inbox flooded with sales emails for a few weeks, to see the Mother's Day Specials at restaurants I love to frequent for brunch on Sundays, to think about how I might be engaging with the day differently if my mom were alive, or if I already had children.
I love blessing the mommas in my life. And motherhood carries so many layers and levels of joy and pain, whether you are a mom or not.
When the idea of leading a Grief Flow on Mother's Day arose, I had a flash vision of everyone that carries any kind of pain (even if you also carry joy and celebration) around motherhood joining to have a sacred personal and community experience that cultivated presence, openness, and deep inner connection.
I saw this Grief Flow as the landing pad for however you wake up on Sunday, allowing you to move with your totality, in unbridled expression, so that you can then move into your day with an open heart and clear mind.
This Mother's Day Grief Flow will be a place to honor any person, concept or experience you have lost or mourned, AND it will be a place where you can move with the grey - with the feelings that feel complex, that you wish weren't there, that you can't quite make sense of, or that feel like they don't quite fit.
When I think of Mother's Day grief, I think of not only the loss of those we love and the grief-connected lives we now live without them, but also of:
The friends and clients that have miscarried or had difficult fertility journeys;
The loved ones that aren't moms, whether they want(ed) to be or not;
Those of us that want to be moms, and yet life has required tending in other ways and that season hasn't arrived yet;
The mommas that LOVE motherhood, but it has required a letting go of other areas of life, or parts of Self, they loved too;
The friends that are anticipating the death of their moms due to illness;
The friends that are expecting or new moms, and still deep in the portal of releasing their pre-child life;
The loved ones that have witnessed their children suffer;
The clients and friends that don't have the relationships they desire with their moms or children;
The loved ones that are now empty nesters;
The moms that are constantly in the juggling act of making it work, even though it doesn't feel like enough;
The friends that don't have as much time with their kiddos as they wish;
The collective pain in our world right now for the starving and endangered orphans of war.
And so many more.
Honoring the grief in the grey means allowing the nuances of our path, the unclear parts that don't perfectly fit in the black and white of having or not having, of being or not being, to be present and lovingly engaged with.
As we deepen into relationship with grief and pain, we deepen into relationship with the fullness of Life. After 20+ years of suppressing grief (and 7 of profoundly unraveling it again), I can tell you first hand that engaging with grief attunes you to greater self expression in all areas, and here is more richness in this experience than I can describe with words.
Engaging with grief attunes you to greater self expression in all areas.
The Mother's Day Grief Flow Ceremony this Sunday is about coming together in the beautiful messiness of it all, to turn toward ourselves and this day with love and openness.
Just like everything that is offered here, these 90ish minutes will lead you into greater connection with all of YOU – your vibrant heart, body, clarity, intuition, and wisdom – through the Grief Flow process.
If you feel called in any way, I invite you to join and see what is ready to unfold for you. It will be an honor to lead you.
What is a Grief Flow Ceremony?
You can read more about the origins of the Grief Flow Ceremony here.
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