Presence: The Golden Key That Unlocked My Flow

Last week in an Instagram story I shared that at the crux of giving and receiving love (and what I believe is at the core of all love languages) is PRESENCE. Later that day, a loved one asked me on the phone what had helped me in becoming and being more present in my life.

The full answer comes in a long and winding healing story that spans the last 5 years (and continues on, of course), but I loved her question because 

PRESENCE is the golden key that unlocked my flow. 

While offering my presence and energy to others was more natural years ago (and now I can see that the quality of that presence was not always of my highest offering as I was often in my head and not embodied), cultivating presence with myself and everything swirling inside of me did not come easy to me. 

I was the Queen of avoidance of my inner workings, pain, needs, desires, and more, and I needed A LOT of support in the early years of working with my coach to feel safe enough to really allow presence in - to really allow myself to slow down, to deeply listen to myself , to feel and tend. 

As I found my footing and slowly walked through the presence initiation, there was a lot of pain and grief asking to be held and seen, but there was also incredible and immense love, wisdom, breakthroughs, and liberation.  This unlocking process was one of great release of all I had been holding in for so many years, offering me more inner space to breathe and be, to explore and evolve, to experience contentment, peace, and joy.  It unlocked my ability to FLOW with all of me and all of Life.

In my experience, without presence there is no conscious flow.  

Without presence, there is no embodied acceptance. 

Without presence, we miss out on the magic of our continued becoming and soul evolution because instead of seeing and working with life as a great teacher and mirror, we feel distracted and trapped by all the challenges that come our way.

Presence opens the doorway to deep listening, to attuning our ear and heart to our knowing. 

Presence opens the doorway to liberation and healing as it brings us into connection with emotions that want to flow through us and create space in us. 

Presence connects us to the grace, Love, compassion, and vibrancy that is already alive within us, no matter how disconnected we have felt from it.  

Presence offers humility in our humanness and opens us to the awe and wonder of our Divinity. 

Presence allows us to hear the subtle (or not so) knock of the needs and desires that have been over-ridden or pushed away, sometimes for years.

Presence is the key that opens to the doorway to abundant paths of possibility, the key that unlocks the patterns that keep us operating in survival mode, and then offers us a vision and steps toward thriving.

Presence invites intimate tending, budding, blooming and shedding of all that is ours to steward and grow.

Presence gifts clear sight to see what isn’t ours and to embrace what is.

Presence guides us in receiving higher consciousness, and offering from wholeness all that we are here to offer.

When we say yes to presence, no matter how scared we are of what might be on the other side of its doorway, we say yes to ourselves - to our hearts, to our soul journey, to our pain, to our passions, hopes, and dreams, to connection in all direction - to our unique Flow of being and living and natures and nourishes all that we wish to create in this life.

Ready to deepen into presence? Book your Exploratory Coaching Session here or get on the waitlist for one of my upcoming programs.

The Power of Deep Coaching + walking a path of committed limitless becoming and transformation

This was originally written on July 14th, 2022

It’s been an intense last few days of all of the feels (I see you full moon) - grief, resisting my grief, self doubt and criticism, blah-ness, tears and more tears, fear, irritation… - feeling the overwhelm of it all, releasing each piece and part as I am ready, and then opening to and allowing the energetic shift that is ready to unfold.

This week has been a practice of recognizing new layers of my deep and long-lived survival patterns and being able to finally observe them from a new lens and energy - instead of reacting our of a survival loop, finding more peace in simply holding and being with the reactivity this patterns stir up in my mind and body. I am immensely encouraged by this, as this feels like a ground for healing on this new layer and level.

And as I always do, I have landed in a place of clarity and open heartedness once again. A place from which I can my make clear, aligned decisions and offer myself grace, permission, and immense love and compassion once again.

From achievement orientation to process orientation

You see, walking a path of committed limitless becoming and transformation, and meeting and guiding others on their version of that path, does not release anyone from the human experience and the healing available in fully embracing it. Quite the opposite actually. Personally, in many ways I feel it intensifies the journey, reconfirming over and over again that I am willing to walk through my darkest valleys, no matter how short or long, to reconnect with my light. That I am willing to stand in the fire, lay down and surrender, open and receive, over and over again. Each time on a new layer, a new level. 

Part of the reason I love what I do is that is challenges the status quo on growth, personal development and coaching as the world knows it currently. 

We are conditioned to focus purely on the achievements, measuring ourselves and others against what is and isn’t accomplished, but when that is all we focus on, we are missing so much of the magic of life! The truth is that there is no “there”, no “arrival” on this path. We may reach new levels and states, but there is no end to all we can grow into and become.

The theme of moving from "doing-ness" to "being-ness" is something I explore a lot with my clients, and as that transition happens, we naturally begin to move from what I like to call moving from "achievement orientation to process orientation".

When we open and shift into process orientation, we can take in and allow all of the gifts that bloom along that path, instead of being so tunnel vision focused on the outcome. In my experience, it truly opens us to life fully and there is magic and beauty even in the really challenging and trying times.

The Energetic Shift

As I have worked with this transition in my own life in the past 4 years, one of the most powerful shifts I have observed is that the way I interact with myself and life is SO DIFFERENT than it used to be, and because of this, I love being me. Even though there are of course hard days, I love who I am today. I love this version of me, this “open and here for it all” Ellie.

I see that in my clients everyday as well. Even when nothing is “figured out yet”, resolved, or clear - even when the relationship with someone is difficult or strained, even when uncertainty or grief hits harder than ever before, even when pain arises once again - the shift in being that Deep coaching and transformational work facilitates and supports truly opens us to a powerful relationship with all parts of ourselves, life, others, and beyond that is filled with possibility, with freedom, with energy, and with LOVE.

It facilitates an energetic shift that changes everything. How we feel with ourselves. How our inner life feels. How our body feels.  How our outer life feels. How our relationship to God feels, as well as our own humanness and divinity. Nothing goes untouched. 

One of my mentors of the last few years, Pilar Lesko, a woman the feels like a deeply connected soul friend, recently wrote in one of her beautiful newsletters, “Life doesn’t become ‘perfect’, absolved of difficulty, contrast, tension, mistakes, and pain. You do not get everything you think you want. But rather, you become more available to interact with life, as it is - and through that, meet the wise, sacred and meaning-filled energy that permeates each moment. You receive the lessons, transformation, and healing that’s available and reality consistently re-orients to that devotion. You naturally generate more authenticity, kindness, and generosity. You experience more peace, joy, play, flow, and clarity. Everything seems more beautiful.”

Those words ring so true and depict this never-ending experience of becoming and transformation so well. 

I often say to one of my friends, “As we expand into one part of ourselves, all parts of us expand - even when we can’t see it all yet.” Despite what we must walk through, the fullness and the beauty only multiplies if we are willing to make room for it.